Dirty Thirtyyyyy?

Hey! Can I be honest?

At one point in life, I really wasn’t sure that I’d make it to see 30. But, thanks be unto God.

So, I noticed the other day that I haven’t posted anything here since 28. Life has changed tremendously for me. New church, new role, new territory, new circle, new place.. Just all things NEW & I couldn’t be more grateful to God. I FINALLY let go of a toxic cycle and I saw a post that said “don’t go back to a place you cried and prayed to God to deliver you from”. He ain’t gotta worry about me!! This time last year, I was in transition. But the transition felt a lot like Genesis 12. You know, where God told Abram to literally leave his country, his relatives and his father’s house and He promised to make him into a great nation and to give a new land as his inheritance. Yeah, THAT type of transition.

But we’ll talk transition, later.. Maybe my 1 year church anniversary.

This is about me entering a NEW decadeeeeeee! Talk to me, nicely. BIG 30. To whoever told me that 30 doesn’t hurt, come here to the front. I just wanna talk! Because I WOKE UP and my bones immediately stiffened up! What a welcome!

Thirty will be a repayment to my twenty year old self. If I could’ve saved her 10 years of heartbreak, set backs, let downs, disappointments… I PROMISE you I would’ve ran to her rescue. Brian Carn said it best, “RUN, don’t look back!” But throughout my twenties, I learned Romans 8:28 in a new revelation. It gave me the resilience I didn’t know I needed. I literally can get back up from anything, because I know whatever the disappointment is/was, it was working together for good. Even though I put myself in some of them situations, God still used it for my good… Remember that, somehow, someway it’s going to always work out. It wouldn’t be God, if He didn’t get His glory out of the situation.

I made a promise to God when I realized that my life would be a walking testimony. I promised to submit my will, regardless. I stopped trying to figure stuff out a LONG time ago. We don’t even think the same lol. He thinks long term and I just try to remember to think when I wake up. That’s honestly probably why I’m such a procrastinator. Things happen and change in a blink of an eye and I despise wasting my time or plans, so I wait until the last minute. But I just knew that once I found out that people look up to me, I knew that it also meant my life would be a cheat sheet for someone else. With that being said, I found out how to praise God with tears in my eyes.. Why? Because someone else would need to know how to do the same thing.

I experience a lot of “Father, if it be your will, let this cup pass from me”, moments. Lol, because I DON”T WANNA. John 16:33 AMP says, “I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace. In the world you have tribulation and distress and suffering, but be courageous [be confident, be undaunted, be filled with joy]; I have overcome the world.” [My conquest is accomplished, My victory is abiding.] I found peace with my circumstances, but don’t get me wrong, I’m going to have my moments. But I found the appreciation of the last part of that scripture, “be courageous”. He already conquered my situation when he defeated death, hell and the grave. That’s what is going to get me through this next decade. I literally owe God my life for keeping and sustaining me, even when He didn’t have to! It’s good to know Him as a keeper!

I feel like God is going to give me so many victories this decade! We’ll mention it during the transition blog. He so much for me in my 20’s, but the Word says that “eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man, the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.” So I’m in full anticipation of reaping what I’ve sown! And yeah, pray the Lord sees fit for marriage.. Because life is starting to require a HUSBAND. Amen? Amen!

But yeah, this next decade is a repayment to myself! I owe that 20 year old that much!