When you spend years navigating situations that test your patience and challenge your peace, something shifts inside of you. You become more alert. More guarded. More aware of what you will and will not tolerate. After a while, your mind stops saying “maybe it’ll get better” and starts saying “I’m not doing this again.” And that’s where the fighter starts to show up. It’s not always physical. In fact, most of the time it’s emotional and mental. It’s the voice inside that says, “Leave me alone. Don’t waste my time. Shut up.”

This is not a greeting for me; it is a declaration. This is the kind of New Year that feels like a reset, the kind that reaches into your sleep and wakes you with scripture on your lips. I opened my eyes Sunday morning reciting, “And I will restore to you the years…” (Joel 2:25). I felt that so strong! He’s restoring years that I thought were lost to setbacks!

There was a time not too long ago when everything around me felt uncertain. Leaving the Department of Children’s Services wasn’t my plan, it was something I had no other choice but to accept.. And to be honest, it hurt. But even in that moment of confusion, I began to see God’s hand quietly redirecting me. I had the faith in the fact that God wasn’t abandoning me. Sometimes He has to remove us from places we would’ve stayed too long in, just to remind us that His plan is still greater.

Thirty will be a repayment to my twenty year old self. If I could’ve saved her 10 years of heartbreak, set backs, let downs, disappointments… I PROMISE you I would’ve ran to her rescue. Brian Carn said it best, “RUN, don’t look back!”

Fast forward to August 12. I was experiencing contractions all day while hosting a baby shower for one of my little sister’s. Whole time, I thought it was just Braxton Hicks. I made it through the entire shower, IN PAIN. I rushed home, called Baptist DeSoto and talked to Amy, who I refer to as “Ace’s Angel”.